failure.

the number one reason why people fail?

fear of failure.

so the number one reason why you fail at meeting beautiful women is because you fear failing to meet beautiful women.

so.....how does one go around this.

by not trying to meet beautiful women.

ok, so now what.

just make eye contact and smile at a beautiful woman.

just say hello to a beautiful woman as you pass her in the grocery store.

say hello and wait for her response and allow yourself the four or five seconds to relax as she responds, and the next few moments will flow into an intuitive aha! experience that you can build on.....for next time.

because this is training day.

and every day from this point onward is training day.

and so say goodbye to failure.

because you aren`t trying to do anything.

stayin` alive.

pretty much says it all. if you hear that music and those lyrics while you walk along, your body will tell the world......


STAYIN' ALIVE
Written by:
Barry Gibb
Robin Gibb
Maurice Gibb
(1977)

Lead vocals:
Barry Gibb

Album:
Saturday night fever
(1977)

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man, no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm,
I've been kicked around
since I was born.

And now it's all right, it's OK.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breaking and everybody shaking,
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive.

Well now, I get low and I get high,
and if I can't get either, I really try.
Got the wings of heaven on my shoes.
I'm a dancing man and I just can't lose.
You know it's all right, it's OK.
I'll live to see another day.
We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breaking and everybody shaking,
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive. Aah.

Life going nowhere.
Somebody help me,
somebody help me, yeah.
Life going nowhere.
Somebody help me, yeah.
I'm stayin' alive.

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man, no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm,
I've been kicked around since I was born.

And now it's all right, it's OK.
And you can look the other way.
We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breaking and everybody shaking,
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive.

Life going nowhere.
Somebody help me,
somebody help me, yeah.
Life going nowhere.
Somebody help me, yeah.
I'm stayin' alive.

Life going nowhere.
Somebody help me,
somebody help me, yeah.
Life going nowhere.
Somebody help me, yeah.
I'm stayin' alive. ...

hypnosis.

in hypnosis the practitioner knows that the first trance is the one that the practitioner finds himself in.

the reason why one must attain a shift of consciousness is that when you do, the other people you come into contact with will eventually match your state.

this is true of all people all the time.

the trance state you are aiming for is a relaxed focused state whereby images are brighter and sounds are clearer and things seem to move a little slower and subtle expressions and gestures are easier to read.

this attunement is necessary if you are to communicate effectively with the beautiful woman sitting in that chair beside you.

she is telling you so much by the way she`s sitting and moving and breathing that if you are nervous and impatient you will crash about like a bull in a china shop and she will find someone else to entertain her.

style.

people use this word to describe fashion mostly. clothes. shoes. watches.......etc.

but i use the term to mean attitude.

we wear our attitude like an overcoat.

so choose wisely.

we are judged on style.

posture.

one of my teachers made us walk up to him and stand in front of him.

he would then criticise us on that alone.

why?

because how we first arrive speakes volumes about who we are.

preparing in your mind how to walk and talk to yourself in your head as you go creates your persona.....your aura.....your appeal to others.

spend some time in a public place and watch how people carry themselves and know that it`s all about what they are saying to themselves while they go.

and when you find someone who walks like you want to walk, ask yourself what they must be talking about to move so beautifully.

and when you find out what they are saying, try it yourself.

practice, practice, practice.

this applies to anything worthwhile doing.

the old joke goes like this;

a boy walks up to a man on the street in new york city and says "mister, how do you get to carnegie hall?"

the man says "practice son, practice."

when all else fails try enormous amounts of repitition.

so when i say practice, i mean go out and say hello to beautiful women. strike up a conversation and leave them with a smile. gain confidence in your posture and your pacing and vocal tone.

they will appreciate it and you will gain confidence in your ability to do it again and again until it becomes second nature.

you will become the person in the line that is smooth and confident with the pretty barista and you will say just the right thing to have her smile and blush slightly and delicately......and remember you the next time.

the bars.

we typically think that all the hot women are crowded into bars on an evening and they are the ones who are most likely to be interested in meeting guys.....

well, not necessarily.

there are a number of factors that are working against you in the bar environment.

firstly, the place is way too loud for the nuance and subtlety of conversation.

secondly, she`s most likely with friends and having fun, and not interested in getting "cornered".

thirdly, alcohol distorts your and her perceptions of most things.....and besides, drunk isn`t sexy at all.

though don`t rule bars out. you will find yourself in one occasionally and there will be women in them, so practice, practice, practice.

so, what are your options?

everywhere else, any other time of day.

a short list might help.

libraries. (the book she`s reading is a clue.)

grocery stores. (shopping carts are great props.)

walking your dog (or borrow one.)

gas station forecourts.

starbucks.

live events.

parks. (dog-walking.)

the city at lunch-time......my god what a place of simple pleasure and joy.

and any other place where men and women go and spend social time.

all of these places are full of women who aren`t drunk and who would enjoy casual conversation from a skillful stranger....

...and you owe her this.

think about that.

her map of the world plus flirting.

read the posts on flirting and her map of the world and see how once you find her map of the world and incorporate it into a flirt dance you can begin to see how powerful the conversation becomes in leading her to feeling sexual feelings for you.

the reason why she`s standing there talking to you when she planned to get coffee and go home to watch oprah is because she`s getting pleasure.

continue to do what you are doing and you will get more of the same.

she doesn`t consciously realise what`s going on but nontheless one of you does, and it`s only going to get better.

the more she gets good feelings in association with your presentation the more likely she will want to be intimate with you.

she still doesn`t consciously realise this but it doesn`t matter because you do.

and if she does then all the better.

her map of the world.

people say things like "oh god, i hate that" when you say that you like something like, a spider for instance.

when they say something like that they are giving you an indication that they feel something.

this is an example of a strongly negative reaction to a statement you made.

you have just successfully taken control of a person`s internal state by mentioning a spider and had them tell you how distasteful thay find the creature.

but more importantly they had the feeling of experiencing a real spider.

this has trememdous meaning for you as you learn to speak to beautiful women now.

so are you going to find something she hates and go on about it?

not if you want to kiss the girl any time soon.

what you need to do is to tell her engaging stories about things you reasonably guess she might like.

like walking on the beach with someone they trust.

or going for a boatride across a still lake under a full moon while playing the guitar.

or eating something delicious.

or describing something soft and sensual like baby tiger cubs at the zoo that you got to handle.

and watch how she responds.

when you find the right thing she will light up by flushing slightly in the face and her pupils will dialate and the muscles in her face will relax......it is an unmistakable response that once you experience it created at your will, you will forever be addicted.

so then what?

once you have found out what she responds strongly to, you can associate that response to something about you.

and anchor it.

simply by getting her to react the way we just described and then touching yourself in a casual way or point to yourself while you are talking.

if you are casual enough in your anchoring gestures, she will be oblivious to what you are doing and merely enjoy the feelings she`s getting.

then in the next few minutes you can test your anchor by making similar gestures while asking her about things like what she likes to do for fun or where she goes to relax or whatever........and watch how she responds.

she will be smiling and glowing with pleasure and you can lead her imagination in any way you wish from this point on.

but, here is the master play.

leave.

what? while you are having fun.......?

precisely.

get up and say look, i have had a really nice time and it was a pleasure to meet you but i have a meeting in 15 minutes, but if you would like to do this again as much as i do then maybe i can call you?

and shut the fuck up and stand there.

she will give you her number.

flirting.

i used to be a dumbass.

i used to think that flirting was a waste of time.

i will say this now; it is the single greatest skill you can ever develop in your career in meeting beautiful women.

it doesn`t matter who you are, what you have or what you do.....unless you become proficient at flirting with women you will deprive yourself of entry into the world of female sexuality.

you have found yourself having a pleasant conversation with a woman in the past about something trivial, like the weather or tea vs. coffee or whatever and realised that what was happening was less about the weather or hot drinks than it was about the delicate dance that you were involved in together.

i spent a half hour at starbucks one afternoon having a magnificent flirt with a girl about whether tea was better for you than coffee and we did it so well that we just smiled and nodded at eachother and made agreeable noises for more than 30 minutes.

her daughters kept trying to interrupt and ask her to go but she was so focussed on enjoying the silly conversation with me that she just ignored them.

the thing is that once you get comfortable with this kind of interaction then you can choose to take it to the next level.........which are the covert illicitation of responses and precise calibration of her internal "map of the world".

these things don`t work.

begging, bullying, boozing, bullshit and bribery.

hmmm. sounds like a regular saturday night to me.

the reason why men gravitate to such measures is that they`ve not been sensitive to or even aware of the signals they`ve been getting from the moment they arrived and don`t have strategies in place to take advantage of the positive signals they do get.

begging; the continued repitition of weak suggestions, inuendo or dumbass jokes in the hopes a girl will get turned on.

bullying; same as above but with sinister overtones.

boozing; false bravado leading to the two above.

bullshit; self-explanatory. women have very sensitive bullshit detectors that are tripped the moment you start trying to impress, especially if combined with any of the other four in this list.

bribery; women love this one, and will absorb vast amounts of it, that will take on the appearance of an effective strategy when she sits across the table from you in an expensive restaurant or the beach front of a top resort......

but she and everyone else around will know what awaits you.

the empty bank account.

big boys don`t cry part 2.

yes we do.

we find ourselves shaken and sobbing, fighting the pain of out-of-control emotion.

the tears run down our faces and our noses run and our eyes swell and turn red........

and it`s usually over a woman.

the cure?

another one.

another sweet, fragile, horny creature to share and laugh and love with.

it`s the only way.

trust me, i`m almost a doctor.

pussy-chasing cowboy.

ok, so that`s a perception some have regarding what i teach.

and some women really love this perception.

so now we have a paradox.

who are we doing this for?

ourselves.

why?

to share in the pleasure of two people being together intimately (here`s a dirty little secret......she will absolutely love you for your attitude and what you do with it.)

so get over what others think.

leave it behind with all the flowers and dinners and things you`ve bought for women thinking that you were somehow moving forward.

so what if some think that you are a pussy-chasing cowboy?

you are, aren`t you?

now where the fuck is my hat?

being yourself.

our essential nature is what we were born with.

it is the reason why we are here.

we are taught to betray it every day of our existance by the media so that we will buy things to make us feel better.

when we are true to our essential nature we natural feel "better" already.

it`s like trying to find yourself......

you are already here.

stop trying to be something you`re not.

turn off the tv.

stop reading the newspaper.

tune in to your inner voice that says what it`s always been saying.

that we are all right in the middle of something profound and exciting and special, and we all have something important to add.

ourselves.

you gotta laugh.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080208.woligarchs0209/BNStory/International/home

i am criticised occasionally by women, and by some men, for teaching what could be considered by some as manipulation techniques.

the truth is that my clients want to meet women and have relationships on a reasonably even basis.

and sure, the techniques i teach are manipulative. they`d better be......or nothing would change.

the thing is, i teach the manipulation of the self. what you choose to do with your new-found abilities is up to you.

i teach the same thing in regard to stopping smoking or weight-loss as i do in talking to women; calm yourself, relax and prepare to enjoy yourself. recognise your state and align yourself with a hightened state of awareness of her breathing, her eye moveent and the flush of her skin as you speak together. becoe fascinated with everything about her as she reveals herself in front of you

anyway, the article above merely shows that (some) women are mercinary enough to consume the type of training they believe will get them a billionaire.

so girls, what is wrong with any of us getting out there and competing?

create your state.

as soon as our feet hit the floor in the morning you should already be in the state.

when the light hits your eyes as you wake up your first thought must be centered on what you want your day to be like.

the smile from a woman as you smile at her as you walk by.

the sense of curiosity you feel as you see a woman sitting alone in a coffee shop or pushing her cart through the grocery store.

the knowledge that you are calm and confident in your approach and greeting when you first say hello to her.

fell deep inside yourself the desire you have to provide the kind of strong emotional in her to what you say.

the flushing of the skin, the deepening of her breathing and the dialation of her pupils as she arouses to your words.

when you visualise these things as you wake you program your mind to prepare to flow into transactions socially with everyone you meet.

and the right woman will be included in your confident charm that will be a natural part of your existance.

duration.

the question you need to ask yourself as you learn to be comfortable approaching and having relationships with the woman of your choice, is how long do you want the relationship to last?

there are many hundreds of people ready to teach you approaches and techniques that will allow you to do what you want with a woman quickly, sometimes within minutes of talking with her for the first time.

close-in shock tactics are effective with the right woman and you will be leaving with her within minutes.

that same approach with the next woman could get you hurt.......

the methods that i teach will allow you the confidence to talk to the women and have the relationships you want, without harming yourself or her in the process.

choice.

choosing the woman you want to be with.

what a concept.

many guys end up with the woman that they ended up with..............

not the one they would have liked to be with.

and that`s true of women too.

there is a lot of settling for second-best going on.

being able to approach women in a state where anything is acceptable, including rejection, then the world opens up to the possiblity that you can find that woman that appeals to you and you can make a life together physically and mentally...which is what this is all about.

so she tells you to get lost because you spoke to her in the line-up at starbucks.

thank her.

she just saved you the time and effort of finding out that she`s an asshole before she meant something to you.

or you could just say "it must take a some effort to pretend to be a bitch....."

and you can say that because you just don`t care either way, and you will be suprised that it may just pop her bubble to the point where a real person emerges, at which point you know what to do.

look. this is about having fun and smiling at life and the abundance in all of this.

it`s playtime men......

when you access this state of play anything is possible.

look at her, she`s beautiful. she dressed up to meet this moment. right in front of you now. a word or two in the right direction could permenantly change both of your lives forever.

it depends on how you see the world.

preparation.

wake up in the morning and decide how your day will be.

make it so by deciding before-hand.

meeting attractive beautiful women that want to be with you because you make them feel good begins with preperation.

decide that you can access a state of mind whereby you are intrigued by her sitting there and want to find out how good she really wants to feel.

and playfully involve yourself in the process of taking her there.

it`s as simple as that.

there a many people teaching guys how to dominate women and intimidate them into doing things out of sheer shock and suprise......

.....and many of these things work. unfortunately.

unfortunate because it gives me the perception of teaching similar tactics, and it puts you one step further toward abusing women.

what i am showing you is that there are ways of becoming so fascinating to her that she will decide to explore this evolving relationship wherever you want it to go.

so, having the choice as to whether you actually want to be with this woman is the first thing.

some beautiful women are jerks.

some are not.

just because she looks a certain way doesn`t mean she makes good company.

she may have got this far simply because guys fall down in front of her in heaps.

you don`t want to be next in that line.

so, ask her out of simple curiosity, "are you like so many other women that i meet that are beautiful, or are you a real person with genuine feelings?"

this does so many things.

it tells her she`s beautiful, that you meet many beautiful girls and that you are looking for genuine feelings from a real person.

and shut the fuck up and wait for her to answer.

if your day begins with this one though in mind you have put yourself at the front of the success line when it comes to meeting and spending time with woman you choose to be with.

big boys don`t cry.

and who told you not cry?

your mother.

it`s a conspiracy of emotional castration.

we are to take it mister, and pay for dinner too.

that`s the way boys are raised......

so we are going to stop right here and evaluate our strategy.

hmm, let`s see. going on a date?

how did you get into this mess?

you asked her?

ok. cancel.

make an excuse.

you have to do your nails/ wash you hair.....something.

just don`t do the same thing over again expecting different results.

women want a man who understands them and makes them feel good.

so, talk to her about understanding and feeling good.

ask her how she knows when she`s being understood, and even better, when she feels good.

she will tell you.

this is the most important thing you will ever realise.

she will tell you anything.

all you have to do is ask, and she will tell you everything that`s on her horny little mind.

she will tell you this in a coffee shop or in a lube shop waiting room or in a subway station.

anywhere you decide to engage her and involve her senses in an internal adventure into fantasyland.

and be prepared to reap the benifits of the change in her state as the conversation proceeds.

breathing part 3.

now that you have some mastery of breathing to be able to calm your desire to run, and not talk to the beautiful woman who met your eye, let`s look at the next step in mastering your state.

visualisation.

while we are breathing deeply and settling our internal state we are looking at pictures and talking to ourselves.

only the psychiatrist thinks it odd to do these things.

you tell him you hear voices and see things, he goes inside and hears a voice tell him to prescribe drugs.

anyway, this is about talking to beautiful women, not neurotic doctors.

the pictures we see and the way we talk to ourselves dictates how our world forms.

what do you tell yourself when you see that woman smile at you at starbucks?

do you see yourself as a man going over to say hello?

do you realise that you have control over what you see and say in your head?

i will explore this next.

breathe part 2.

before you enter any social setting, be it a bar, coffee shop, mall, restaurant or even the grocery store (one of my favorites) you must find a state of relaxation and confidence.

breathing deeply in and out slowly a few times allows you to condition your mind to accessing the optium state for being able to approach a woman and having the kind of interaction with her that could potentially get you her phone number or better.

much has been written about breathing in yoga, martial arts, weight lifting and elsewhere and in all fields the purpose is to put the mind into the optimum state for peak performance.

you can benifit immesurably by reading some of the literature about types of yoga breathing, but remember not to fall down the rabbit-hole and forget that this is about your life in the real world interacting with others, some of whom are the most beautiful women in the world.

breathe.

ok, so you are in the coffee shop and a woman that you notice has looked at you a couple of times in the past few minutes and your heart rate has jumped and you can barely breathe now that you are imagining trying to talk to her.

what is going on?

the basic fight-or-flight response inate in all of us is working perfectly.

unfortunately you can`t run, even though your nervous system is on red-alert and ready for action.

so all you can do is breathe.

in.

deeply.

until you can`t take in any more air.

now slowly let the air out and imagine an elevator ride down into the depths of the earth......

breathe in again and ride the elevator down as you do.

over and over breathing slowly in and out until you feel calm and focused.

and hopefully she will still be sitting there waiting for you to access a smile for her.

what women want.

exactly what men want.

to feel good.

simple.

men think that to make a woman feel good they have to do certain things.

buy dinner, drinks, trips, jewellery, houses, cars, etc.

and there are plenty of women who will take those things from you if you are willing to provide them.
g
but really what a woman wants is to feel good.

all of the consumer items are a game designed to make people spend money, so don`t even begin to play that game.

to deliver good feelings you need to begin with yourself.

do you feel good?

it`s simple really.

go inside and honestly figure out if you feel good.

on a scale of one to ten.

now.

the number you come up with is directly related to how good you can make a woman feel.

so how do you change that if the number is small?

breathe.

the single most important thing one can do is breathe.

the next post will discuss this at length.